the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's never too late to be topless.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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