Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
