speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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