you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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