Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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