Rock
Scissors
Fuck
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
