it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
