Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
