so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Mom said you looked used
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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