we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
