The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
