Umm I'm too high to move.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
