my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize