Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I understand Curling. That high.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
