Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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