I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
