Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
