i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
