Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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