I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
