is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
