im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
