he thought i was a dude.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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