As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
