Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
