Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Pooping to opera.
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