Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
