Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
