Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
