I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize