That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
