Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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