I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
