Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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