I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
