I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
