Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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