Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
