I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize