So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
