i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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