Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize