Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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