i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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