the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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