WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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