There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In the future we'll all be gay
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
