bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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