Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
