super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
