I am in a vortex of obligation.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
