I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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