dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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