Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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