he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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