honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
