I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
4 words: hood of his car
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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