Pappa wants mamma naked
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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