You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
