may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
