I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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