only if we run a train.
done.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize