yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
