I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
