I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize