is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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