A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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