break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
