just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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