I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize