You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We're too hungover to prance.
i think i just lost a toe
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
