I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
