she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
