well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize