Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
