I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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