I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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