someone owes me an orgasm
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
