he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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