Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
