Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
