i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
