Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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