what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
