Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
3pm strippers are depressing
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
