I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So gin and wine won't be happening again
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
