i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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