Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
