Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
